Right living.
Tina had time off from work, and I drove her up to her test at DMH. They said she has carpal tunnel stuff going on and minor nerve damage.
Pretty good day. Beautiful weather. Snow melting off.
I spent a lot of time thinking about the whole issue of separation in the church.
The last few days have been days of pondering and meditation. I have watched once again division raise it's ugly head over the issues of divorce, grace or lack of it, and the like.
So, here we are, the church that wants to bring in the lost, when it seems like so many in the church need help. As one who was divorced twice prior to my Christianity, I feel this first hand. I feel tremendous compassion for the loss of a relationship. And I recognize both sides of the story.
In my first marriage, I was a drunk and a drug user. With one child, our life was hell. Oh, I was successful with business and the like. And when I got sober and asked not to be subjected to alcohol it got weird. But it was my fault. I tried to bring about recovery and reconciliation but it did not happen.
Four or five years later I remarried. My youngest daughter was born prematurely and I spent the next year of my life at Dartmouth Hospital. While I was working a million hours my wife developed outside interests. And the next thing I knew I was in divorce. During that time I developed my relationship with the Lord Jesus.
Both times were very painful. And my kids did and continue to suffer for it. Were I to do it over, I would. Not that I am not happily married, but I have watched the thought process that goes on in children of divorced parents. Pain. Oh, they will overcome in some areas, but as parents do we want to cause pain?
Now, I also believe in the principle of grace. Divorce is not the unforgivable sin.
Yet, I would share another story. When I was a young pastor, I was befriended by another pastor who sowed heavily into my life. And then one day he took off with a friend's wife and left the area. And myself and other pastors who were involved with him watched divorces spring up. Leaders, parishioners. I had 4 divorces in our church alone. Why did they do it? Because leaders did. (Now I have a whole bigger thought about leaders that will come up some other time.)
Let me share the results 10 years later.
Couple A-Mom had an affair and her kids hate her. Dad died a few years ago (Having multiple affairs) leaving two beautiful girls totally screwed up.
Couple B-Father is a convicted sex offender. Mother has remarried and is not happy. Daughter 1 in jail. Daughter 2-has 3 children by 2 different fathers, none who are involved.
Couple C-Leader cheats on wife. Takes off. Mother is going through multiple relationships. Kids screwed up.
Couple D-Mom screams. Dad Leaves. Mom has been involved with at least 5 men that I am aware of . Father is most stable and is active with alcohol. Oldest child is promiscuous. Middle child molested younger daughter. Youngest is in la la land.
I could go on and on. The point is, divorce is usually selfish. It does no one any good and it is clear why God hates it. Now, He does not hate people but the practice.
And so, I watched TB as he remarries and leaves a nation bewildered. Many believe that grace is there(I do believe in grace.) and forget and go on. As one involved in divorce, you never really go on. And the pieces of a broken marriage are forever. And as a leader, public rebuke was necessary, but let's get away from the show. Yes, we hold leaders to a higher standard.
But, after him and his family, here who will pay the price. The church. People will get divorced because TB did. And pastors are on the hot seat. Counsel someone wrong and you get sued.
And the real losers. The lost. While we fight battles in the church and allow others to be selfish and hold bitterness and not call believers to a higher standard, we lose and then they lose.
People look at the church and laugh. They are not looking for holiness. They do not know what that is. But they know what right living is. And we need to move towards that. Right living.
Pretty good day. Beautiful weather. Snow melting off.
I spent a lot of time thinking about the whole issue of separation in the church.
The last few days have been days of pondering and meditation. I have watched once again division raise it's ugly head over the issues of divorce, grace or lack of it, and the like.
So, here we are, the church that wants to bring in the lost, when it seems like so many in the church need help. As one who was divorced twice prior to my Christianity, I feel this first hand. I feel tremendous compassion for the loss of a relationship. And I recognize both sides of the story.
In my first marriage, I was a drunk and a drug user. With one child, our life was hell. Oh, I was successful with business and the like. And when I got sober and asked not to be subjected to alcohol it got weird. But it was my fault. I tried to bring about recovery and reconciliation but it did not happen.
Four or five years later I remarried. My youngest daughter was born prematurely and I spent the next year of my life at Dartmouth Hospital. While I was working a million hours my wife developed outside interests. And the next thing I knew I was in divorce. During that time I developed my relationship with the Lord Jesus.
Both times were very painful. And my kids did and continue to suffer for it. Were I to do it over, I would. Not that I am not happily married, but I have watched the thought process that goes on in children of divorced parents. Pain. Oh, they will overcome in some areas, but as parents do we want to cause pain?
Now, I also believe in the principle of grace. Divorce is not the unforgivable sin.
Yet, I would share another story. When I was a young pastor, I was befriended by another pastor who sowed heavily into my life. And then one day he took off with a friend's wife and left the area. And myself and other pastors who were involved with him watched divorces spring up. Leaders, parishioners. I had 4 divorces in our church alone. Why did they do it? Because leaders did. (Now I have a whole bigger thought about leaders that will come up some other time.)
Let me share the results 10 years later.
Couple A-Mom had an affair and her kids hate her. Dad died a few years ago (Having multiple affairs) leaving two beautiful girls totally screwed up.
Couple B-Father is a convicted sex offender. Mother has remarried and is not happy. Daughter 1 in jail. Daughter 2-has 3 children by 2 different fathers, none who are involved.
Couple C-Leader cheats on wife. Takes off. Mother is going through multiple relationships. Kids screwed up.
Couple D-Mom screams. Dad Leaves. Mom has been involved with at least 5 men that I am aware of . Father is most stable and is active with alcohol. Oldest child is promiscuous. Middle child molested younger daughter. Youngest is in la la land.
I could go on and on. The point is, divorce is usually selfish. It does no one any good and it is clear why God hates it. Now, He does not hate people but the practice.
And so, I watched TB as he remarries and leaves a nation bewildered. Many believe that grace is there(I do believe in grace.) and forget and go on. As one involved in divorce, you never really go on. And the pieces of a broken marriage are forever. And as a leader, public rebuke was necessary, but let's get away from the show. Yes, we hold leaders to a higher standard.
But, after him and his family, here who will pay the price. The church. People will get divorced because TB did. And pastors are on the hot seat. Counsel someone wrong and you get sued.
And the real losers. The lost. While we fight battles in the church and allow others to be selfish and hold bitterness and not call believers to a higher standard, we lose and then they lose.
People look at the church and laugh. They are not looking for holiness. They do not know what that is. But they know what right living is. And we need to move towards that. Right living.
posted by Servant Communications at 4:37 AM
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